The Struggle of Compromising Travel

The Struggle of Compromising Travel

I used to struggle with compromise, and that is because all of my travels had been independent . . . at least until I met my fiancé. But even that isn’t entirely true, as I traveled to Southeast Asia (one of my best trips to date) without him. In fact, he was working hard at police college. For years and years I had my travel blinders on, and solely focused on researching different regions of the world and planning my next trip. Travel was a huge part of how I defined myself, and the idea of having to alter or compromise my steadfast travel plans really upset me. Travel was what I worked for, what I saved for. What I dreamed about, what I lived for.

But when you become invested in a serious and committed relationship while making plans for the future together, you have more to think about than just yourself. You do. It took some time for me to realize this – the way my stubborn and independent mentality was set, I was better not to be in a relationship at all. I fought it and fought it, afraid to lose the biggest means of how I defined myself. However, when two people are meant to be together, travel can be moved to the back burner, temporarily. During that time, big career changes were happening, I had just bought a car and paid tuition, two hefty rents were being paid, and a big upcoming move to another city was on the horizon – all things that would truly suck every last dime when happening simultaneously.

Lucky for me I was a good saver.

Somehow, my personal bank account supported a trip to Southeast Asia. I knew that this was an occurrence that would become much more rare in the coming future. So, I jumped on it and traveled to Thailand, Cambodia, and Laos, alone.

Was I supported when I made this decision? Both yes and no, and I’ll leave it at that, but one of the people who did support me was my boyfriend.

Being so headstrong and independent made it difficult for me to learn how to compromise. But once I did learn, I knew that a solid, good great relationship wasn’t worth risking or damaging for something that will always be there.

The following year we traveled across the world together and fell in love with New Zealand. The year after that we weren’t able to travel internationally, together or apart. And that’s okay – other matters took precedence, as they will in other years to come.

This year however? Just wait and see :)

Author

My passion for capturing memories through the lens of my camera, my love for food and the joy I find in reflecting on my travel memories using a pen and paper results in a series of blog entries filled with warmth, pure happiness and inspiration. I hope to share a little bit of myself and my adventure of life with you.

14 comments

  • It’s so great you’re able to get to travel at the same time. I was very much the same but luckily I found a partner that loves to travel as much as I do! It’s a bit harder trying to save for a trip for two but we make it work :)

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  • Having someone in your life who supports your decisions says a lot about your boyfriend. He was willing to let you follow your passion and still be waiting for you when you came back. I can relate, after being in the travel industry for over 25 years my husband supported my travels and wished me well every time I left. But, I also think he enjoyed having the whole bed to himself without me flip-flopping all night keeping him awake! :D I couldn’t ask for a better partner.

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  • It’s so great to find someone who supports your hobbies and helps you making your dreams come true. I’m lucky to have found a partner who shares my lifestyle and my passion for traveling, and I’ve never had the feeling that I had to compromise. I loved travelling solo but sharing it with someone I love is even better :)
    Good luck with your 2016 plans!

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  • I’m terrified of losing my independence. It’s one of my biggest struggles as a solo female traveller. I don’t want a man robbing me of my plans. However, I do pray that that changes because I would hate to be selfish and stubborn forever. The time will come *fingers crossed*

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  • I hope you have another great year of travel together. I feel so lucky that I have found someone who shares all my passions and this year will be the start of our long term travels. We can’t wait!

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  • We’ve had ebbs and flows of travel over the years. Some year’s crazy amounts, some years hardly any. It depends a lot on what was happening with work (some of the crazy years were way too much work travel!), kids, and life. The great thing is if you want to travel you will will find a way. There are lot of things to do when you travel and it is good at whatever age!

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  • Gosh I know how it feels if you do not want to compromise…this year I had to realize again that I am not able to travel with friends anymore…I am aneasy traveler usually..if we are in a group and I want to do sth different I am all for you do this I do that and we meet later…but if I get pressured through”democracy”to tag along I get a tad bitchy…thus I just travel with my family or alone :D not being in a relationship I do not have to compromise…but then he probably will think similar ;) a not traveller simply wouln’t be working :D

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  • I am very lucky to have found a man who is a traveler by heart so we never argue about this – for both of us, to travel is the priority. Well, right after being together.

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  • I can kind of understand your point of view for this. I never traveled solo but compromising and not being able to travel free because of children is what got be debating whether I want children or not. All the best wishes to you and your fiance in your life together going forward! To many more adventures both solo and as a couple =)

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  • Life is certainly a trade-off and we have to make decisions all the time as to which aspects are more important. Hopefully you’ll be able to continue to travel and build your relationship. Nice post.

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